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Too Many People Around It's late in the afternoon and I've accomplished a nap and some desultory work on the index. No inspiration, no wonderful twist of style or artiface, just a hack designed to reduce the size of the file. Six months of journals in one HTML bucket is getting up around 20K, unacceptable for a graphic let alone a list. The good news is I have time to work on the journal and putter around. The bad news is I don't have the focus or the energy to pull it off. I go into the bedroom and lie down and stare at the ceiling and think, well, I'm not going to sleep right now, maybe I'll just get up and drag the oxygen tube over to the computer desk and write, and, well that's kind of tiring, maybe I'll just go lie down in bed (move over cat) and take a nap. Yo-yo style.
The couple upstairs bought me some six packs of Ensure Plus, which I am clearly
Spent a long time shooting warm saltly water after the "clam soup" getting the little pieces of (healthful, nutritious) shit out. This Ensure stuff tastes good, comes in small cans and, if I drink five of them every day, I get the protein needed to heal my jaw and good stuff for other necessary parts of my body like my liver and my onions. And my terminal self absorbtion in teeth at the moment. And lose 20 pounds. The French doors are open and the cat is framed sitting in the light looking out. Nice. The sun has been bright and there is just a clip to the air, warm enough to sit here in my T-shirt and boxer shorts and just kind of space a little bit, feeling the little movements of air against my legs and right elbow. Feels good. Not hungry. No pain. Get dressed later. Go to the ATM and gas the car. When it's dark. And there are not too many people around. Later note: Went to the ATM. Nice evening. Parking right in front. Went to the gas station bought a tank of gas for the trip to Palo Alto tomorrow. Nice evening, nice air, felt good. This has turned around. |
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informed on the label, is #1 Doctor Recommended and I have no intention to
carp or disagree. I put some very thin canned white clam sauce through
the blender last night. Not much to it in the first place: heat it, load it into
the blender and cream it. Let it cool. No way to move it past the teeth. They gave
me a kitchen style syringe looking thing at the hospital, seven inch plastic plunger
attached to a seven inch flexible rubber tube. Small diameter, maybe 1/8th inch at
the end which will just snake between the gums and the teeth to the back of the
mouth letting you squirt some water or orange juice or tomato juice or Ensure Plus
into the back and still swallow. Clams clogged the tube. Messy. Home cooking.